Emotional regulation starts with the adult

A child reads an adult's state faster than their words. So the first step in a difficult situation is not to calm the child, but to notice your own tension.

Exercise one: name your state silently, in one word. This engages the very mechanism we want the child to develop.

Exercise two: extended exhale, five times. Short and invisible to everyone around.

Exercise three: the delayed answer. Say "I'll answer in a minute" — and come back when your pulse has dropped.